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The UCCB, a.k.a. the First Annual Stephen Harper Procreation Award, rewards families with a cash prize. That started in 2006, at $100 [$77 USD] a month for each humanoid investment you parent under the age of six. Recently, the government announced that it was upping that amount to $160 [$125 USD] for the toddlers, and chipping in an additional $60 [$46 USD] per kid aged seven to 18. A bunch of that money was backloaded from January 1, meaning families are getting fistfulls of fuckmoney in their mailbox right about now.That means your July babyprize is either $420 or $520 [$325 or $400 USD] per kid, regardless of your income and if you need it or not.So let's say you're like the deranged sociopaths from 19 Kids and Counting, during season three (the best 19K&C season.) At that point, they had four children six years of age or younger, and ten who were between seven and 18. Because benefits from January to July are lumped into one fat check, that means if they were in Canada right now, they would get…[math break]$4,900 [$3,780].Now you may be asking: "What? Why?"And you would be right.Say what you will about Stephen Harper, but the man knows what he is doing and doesn't really care how it looks.ICYMI @Justin_Ling I'm back on the search today – this time in Saskatoon. Working to sign up 2600 families for #UCCB. pic.twitter.com/MujP6FKJYn
— Pierre Poilievre (@PierrePoilievre) May 29, 2015
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That $2.5 billion might seem crazy, especially as the Canadian economy coughs twice and keels over like an asthmatic horse, but the point of this program isn't practical, it's ideological, especially when report after report identifies chronically underfunded services like healthcare, or dangerously unsafe infrastructure like pretty much all of Montreal's bridges and tunnels.Shocking as it may be to hear, the prime minister is the closest thing we've got to a radical anarchist as we're going to get in the Prime Minister's chair, and he's determined to take the bloated Canadian social state and turn it into a little tiny government. An itty-bitty government. A government so small it is staffed by adorable little mice.To get there, Harper keeps grabbing things and selling them, kind of like a meth addict house-sitting his parents' place. If you don't bolt down the goddamn chairs, they'll probably wind up on Craigslist within a few days.Attention Parents: Watch now for a special message from Prime Minister Stephen Harper: Posted by Stephen Harper on Monday, July 20, 2015
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