Questions the BBC Should Ask Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt Tonight

Tonight soon-to-be Prime Minister Boris Johnson and his bag carrier Jeremy Hunt will take to the airwaves, each subjecting themselves to a 30 minute grilling from the BBC’s Andrew Neil. It’s a strange affair, supposed to give a sense of public accountability to a process in which only 100,000 or so Tory members can actually vote. And most of them have already cast their ballots. So who exactly is this for? It provides a weird opportunity to see Tory politicians playing to their base – acting their Toriest, but on a stage where they might normally be expected to play to the everyman.

Anyway, here are a bunch of questions Andrew Neil should ask, but probably wont:

Are you happy to receive the votes of party members who are under investigation for Islamophobia?

Can either of you explain the concept of "bipping", "bopping" or "mooching”?

Which of you is responsible for more human suffering?

Jeremy, what was you favourite thing about the years of NHS crisis you presided over?

Boris, which of your pointless vanity projects are you most proud of?

Jeremy: Your opponent has been accused of racist dog-whistles and taking advice from Donald Trump’s former right hand man Steve Bannon. What does it say about your party that you can’t hope to beat him?

In the event of a no deal Brexit, which vulture capitalist enterprises should the savvy investor be looking at to best profit from the ensuing chaos?

In the event of a coup against you, which tax haven would you escape to?

Which of these terrors keeps you up at night fretting more: Jeremy Corbyn's stated desire to end poverty and homelessness or Nigel Farage’s populist nationalism and migrant bashing?

Curtis from Love Island: Hero or villain?

Tommy Robinson: Hero or villain?

Do you agree that in 50 years time, people will read about the present in history books, as the bit where the post-Imperial power began its descent into chaos without really realising it?

What’s your favourite spoon?

Have you ever cleaned up your own mother's piss?

It’s hardly a big deal but we have a minute left, so in 30 seconds each, how would you solve climate change?

@SimonChilds13