Which Historic Figure Would You Least Like to Look Like?

Nathan Grindal/the second coming of Jesus, after being kicked out of a darts tournament.

A wildly unjust persecution took place this weekend. One where a man with long hair and a beard was ridiculed by thousands, shamed and figuratively crucified in a public forum and thrown out on to the street in front of a baying crowd. That man was Nathan Grindal – a guy from Oxford who looks a bit like Jesus – who was ejected from a darts tournament after the 4,500 people in attendance started shouting at him for bearing a passing resemblance to the King of the Jews.

Who would have thought that a lookalike of famously one of the nicest guys in history would end up being ridiculed? I'd always assumed Idi Amin and Roy 'Chubby' Brown doppelgängers would have a harder time, but I guess not. Anyway, that got me thinking about who the shittiest person would be to resemble, so I went and asked some Londoners a question: Which historic figure would you least like to look like?

Josh, 25: Hitler wouldn't be great, would he? You'd instantly have that genocidal vibe, which isn't the best look.

VICE: But isn't facial hair totally cool again?
"The Hitler" has never and will never come back. It went from Chaplin to Hitler to dead, that look. He’s ruined the 'tache and he’s ruined the name Adolf for life.

And Adolf is such a beautiful name, which makes it even worse. Holocaust aside, who's the most disgusting person in history?
The Elephant Man. Back in that day, he was just a freak – really ugly.

That wasn't really his fault, though.

Rania, 20: Abraham Lincoln.

Oh dear, poor Abraham. What’s wrong with him?
I don’t know, I think it’s the whole package. He's just disgusting. I'm sorry to any really patriotic Americans who might read this, and OK, he has a classic style – a nice dress shirt and jacket – but the face is just, you know – argh.

He was pretty tall, though, which is a good quality, right? 
No, his height was all in the hat. He probably also had a lot of complexes.

Let's not delve into those. What about the best looking?
John Kennedy. He was sexy.

Steve, 56: Henry the Eighth – you know, when he got overweight.

He didn't do badly with the ladies, though. What about the best looking?
I’m trying to think what century to go back to. I discount anyone from the 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th because all you have is those portraits and they never look good in those portraits. They were supposed to make them look better, so imagine what they really looked like. Rudolph Valentino; he was the man’s man of Hollywood in the 1920s. Every woman in the world swooned over him. He was like the ultimate in meeting women. They fell for him; look him up.

I just did and will try to base myself on him from now on.

Julia, 27: Oh, it has to be Hitler, doesn't it? Is everyone saying that?

Yeah, no one would want to look like him, weirdly. Any more you wouldn't be into?
Churchill wasn’t exactly a huge looker, but he was very charming and I think that counts for more. I still wouldn't want to look like him, though.

What about the best looking?
I've always liked Bill Clinton. He has a nice voice.

Okay. I didn't see that one coming.

Dan, 23: I’m gonna go with Hitler for that one.

Just for his looks or what comes with them?
I think the two go hand-in-hand, really. You don't see Hitler and not think genocide, or hear about genocide and not think Hitler.

But is he unattractive?
Not especially. He's maybe recognisable, but that's probably the best thing he's got going for him looks-wise.

Do you think any women dig that look?
Probably a very select few, yeah. But ones I probably wouldn’t be interested in.

Previously - What's the Smartest Thing You've Ever Done?