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"Wiggy-wiggy, I'm getting jiggy; open up the door I got the keys to your city" — Abz from 5ive
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We're allowing the badboy pop of turn-of-the-millenium boyband 5ive to derail our thoughts about Nick Clegg. Because what is he thinking, here? Look at him: a powerful A-pose of relaxed self-power, one hand in the air, another draped over the shoulder of a councillor from Sutton. There is beer in this photo. Nick Clegg has consumed one or more units of alcohol. "You can't tell me I can only drink port and eat cheese with it, Dave," he is thinking. "Yes I will have a vodka and orange, and I will bloody enjoy it." Sing it from the rooftops: Nick Clegg Is Free."The beat that brace the funky bass I'll give your body craze shakes (UHHHHHH!)" — Jay from 5ive
Consider, also, the shirt. When he opened up that extra button on his shirt before getting in the cab there, he thought, in full: "Yeah. I don't need to button up any more. Instead of unbuttoning one button, I'm going to do two. I'm going to try something new, for a change." Free of the contractual obligations of his parliamentary standing, he doesn't need to adhere to your fusty fashion norms. This is a Nick Clegg who is free as a bird. This is a Nick Clegg who – yes! – who can walk into the shirt section of BHS marked "jazz-casual" and spend £35 on a night out shirt. Because fuck it, that's why.Over on Noisey: We Read One Direction's 2015 Annual and Discovered a Band in Breakdown
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