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Hello, 18-year-old. Here we are at the tail end of O Week, which means you're now the proud owner of approximately one million bits of promotional stationery. It also means you've willingly paid $10 to join a "student club or society" that is "relevant to your interests," and have exclusively eaten sausage sizzles for the past four days. Welcome to tertiary education! What a blast.
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You're about to embark on a fraught journey littered with UniLAD memes, 12 AM Red Bulls, terrible club nights, and creatively deployed goon sacks. There's so much that can go horribly wrong, but I want you to succeed in spite of these odds. I want your HECS debt to be worth it. So please, please read the below tips. Learn from them. I am literally begging you.Listen: do not go to uni if you don't want to. It's expensive, it takes up at least three (probably five) of the best years of your life, and it actually isn't a prerequisite for most careers. It really isn't. Enrol at a university if you want to get a specialist qualification you can't attain elsewhere, or learn more about some complex subject that you're passionate about. Otherwise, get an internship. Still keen to accrue that $30,000 HECs debt? Okay, fine. Your funeral.Chances are you'll mistakenly want to do a law degree at some point. The thought will at least momentarily cross your mind over the next three years, probably quite late at night. Do not, I repeat do not, give in to this urge. Law school is essentially a trap designed for people who want to enter society's elite, but aren't good enough at maths to get into medicine. It's long, hard, boring, and competitive degree— and you're extremely unlikely to get a job at the end of it.I know why you want to do law. Believe me, I know. You enjoy Suits. You did really well in HSC legal studies. Miranda is your favourite character on Sex and the City. You dream of working at the UN. There's a sick part of you that kind of likes the idea of buying pantsuits from Cue for the rest of your life. Or, more likely, you've just finished an arts degree and are interested in spending another three years on Centrelink. None of these are valid reasons to go to law school. There is no such thing as a valid reason to go to law school. Just don't.
This Isn't Going to Get You a Job
Law School Is Not the Answer
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Psychology Isn't Either
The Public Vs Private School Divide Is Real
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Colleges Are Expensive and Awful
It Is Very Unlikely You'll Make Many New Friends
Honours Is Hell. Absolute, Unmitigated Hell
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