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The Trump Campaign Is Trying to Own Libs by Selling Plastic Straws

For the astronomically high price of $15, you, too, can be the proud owner of 10 plastic straws “laser engraved” with Donald Trump’s name.
For the astronomically high price of $15, you, too, can be the proud owner of 10 plastic straws “laser engraved” with Donald Trump’s name.

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The Trump campaign is known for one particular piece of merch: the MAGA hat. But for the astronomically high price of $15, you, too, can be the proud owner of 10 plastic straws “laser engraved” with Donald Trump’s name.

In an apparent bid to trigger as many libs as possible, President Donald Trump’s re-election campaign is selling ten-packs of red straws, made from sturdy — but supposedly recyclable — plastic. Because “liberal paper straws don’t work,” according to the campaign’s website.

First, plastic straws, like much of the plastic people throw away, are really only recyclable in theory. In practice, they’re too small and flimsy, and there’s not much of a market for the type of plastic they’re made from — thus the many ongoing campaigns to get people to stop using them.

But the president’s straws are touted as a way to “STAND WITH TRUMP” — unlike those flimsy straws, which couldn’t even stand up if they wanted to.

Cover image: Screenshot via Trump campaign website