All of this stuff really happened in one day

The Trump administration has compressed news cycles so much that days feel like weeks, weeks feel like years, and years feel like … you get the picture.

Remember when Jeff Sessions fired Andrew McCabe, the FBI's deputy director? That was last Friday. When Trump congratulated Putin for his election win? That was Tuesday.

But even in the Trump-addled news cycle, Thursday stands out. If you happened to blink, here’s what went down:

Trump fired H.R. McMaster and hired John Bolton, his third National Security Adviser in 14 months

The revolving door at the White House keeps turning.

Trump fired H.R. McMaster on Twitter on Thursday afternoon, surprising many of this own top officials, according to Bloomberg. He’ll be replaced by John Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. and a noted warhawk.

Read: What you need to know about super-hawk John Bolton

Bolton reportedly promised Trump that he “wouldn’t start any wars” if he got the gig, according to CNN’s Kaitlan Collins.

The Dow Jones dropped more than 700 points, its fifth largest daily point drop in history

Fears of a trade war between the U.S. and China spooked investors Thursday.

The Dow dropped 724 points, a 2.9 percent decrease, following Trump’s announcement that he would place tariffs on some $60 billion worth of Chinese products. China’s planning to retaliate with tariffs of its own on 128 U.S. products.

The Dow plunged further following reports that Trump’s top lawyer had resigned because Trump wouldn’t take his advice, prompting fears of political turmoil on the horizon. And the Cambridge Analytica scandal, which has tanked Facebook’s stocks, is dragging down the entire technology sector, which was down 2.7 percent on Thursday, according to MarketWatch.

Trump’s lawyer stepped down because the president wasn’t listening to him

John Dowd, the top lawyer on the the legal team representing Trump in the Russia probe, stepped down. Trump wouldn’t take his advice, he says. Trump had also added Joe diGenova, who’s accused the Mueller investigation of partisan bias on Fox News, to his legal team. Dowd wasn’t thrilled about that, either.

Read: Trump’s head lawyer in the Russia probe is quitting

Dowd had been trying to convince Trump not to sit down with special counsel Robert Mueller’s team for an interview, which Trump reportedly wants to do. Dowd thinks it’s too risky.

“I love the president,” Dowd said in a phone interview with the New York Times. “I wish him the best of luck. I think he has a really good case.”

Another woman went on CNN and said Trump offered to pay her for sex

"After we had been intimate, he tried to pay me, and I actually didn't know how to take that," Karen McDougal, a former Playboy model, told Anderson Cooper on CNN Thursday.

She was shocked, she said, adding, “It hurt me that he saw me in that light.”

Read: Playboy model who alleges affair with Trump says he compared her to Ivanka

The interview was her first since she filed a lawsuit against American Media, Inc., the parent company of the National Enquirer tabloid, owned by Trump's friend, to release her from a 2016 agreement that she says is invalid. The company offered her $150,000 before the election to keep quiet about the alleged affair, and required any dispute to be resolved quietly in arbitration proceedings rather than in open court.

She’s the second woman to come forward in recent weeks to accuse the president of an extramarital affair. Stephanie Clifford, better known by her pornstar name, Stormy Daniels, was paid $130,000 by Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, before the election.

McDougal also apologized to first lady Melania Trump, to whom Trump was married during the alleged affair.

“I'm sorry. I wouldn't want it done to me,” she said.

Guccifer 2.0, who hacked the DNC, is identified as a Russian agent

Guccifer 2.0, the “guy” who leaked the Democratic National Committee’s emails before the 2016 presidential election, isn’t the lone Romanian hacker he claimed to be, according to a report from the Daily Beast.

He’s reportedly a Russian intelligence agent.

Read: Guccifer 2.0 unmasking makes it a lot harder for Trump to deny collusion

U.S. intelligence figured out who he was, according to the Daily Beast, because he forgot to activate his virtual private networking client before logging on to a U.S. social media website, which left his actual, Moscow-based internet protocol address behind in the social media site’s server logs.

Roger Stone, Trump’s campaign adviser, admitted to being in touch with Guccifer over Twitter direct message during the campaign. Stone has also denied having had any contact with any member of the Russian government or Russian intelligence.

Trump threatened to fight Joe Biden on Twitter

To be fair, Joe started it.

Trump’s tweet was a response to a speech by former Vice President Joe Biden in which he said, “If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him,” a response, apparently, to Trump’s infamous “grab 'em by the pussy” comment from the "Access Hollywood" tape.

Trump’s down to fight him, looks like: “He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way,” Trump tweeted.

Biden hasn’t announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential race yet, but some of his donors are hoping he will.

Cover image: U.S. President Donald Trump listens as Archbishop Demetrios of America, elder archbishop of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, not pictured, speaks during a Greek Independence Day celebration in the East Room of the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Thursday, March 22, 2018. (Photo: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty Images)